Enough with the Mommy Guilt

Every once in a while I can feel it creeping up on me. My 3 year old will ask me to build a tower with him and I don’t want to. I just don’t. But I say yes. And I go do it. But I feel guilty anyway… because what kind of mother doesn’t want to build a tower with her adorable little boy?

Me, that’s who. Today at least.

And that’s perfectly fine.

I’m not sure when it became STANDARD to be superwoman. Betty Draper’s responsibilities were to keep the house, have dinner ready at 5 o’clock sharp and have a drink ready for her husband the minute he walked in the door. Oh, and look spiffy all the time and make sure the kids were perfectly behaved, clean and fed of course. At some point we decided that somehow we should be able to keep this all up and also keep up with the guys and hold down kick ass careers which of course we can and do, but for many of us that means that we’ve piled on the to do list of two human beings onto one.

Well I’m calling bullsh*t on this. Whether we can “do it all” or not is not the point. The point is we don’t have to and it’s ok to ask for help and it’s ok to put yourself first sometimes. In fact, it’s necessary.

When I was at Paleo Fx this past year one of the more memorable talks for me was Sarah Fragoso’s short and to the point talk about parents “putting their oxygen mask on first”. It’s what the flight attendant always tells us to do when we board the plane but it seems counter intuitive as a parent to take care of yourself before you take care of your children.

Once upon a time when I was a single mom in my twenties I started a college fund for my daughter even though I had no retirement fund. My friend and mentor pointed out how a greater gift

The bottom line is, if you don’t take care of yourself there will be nothing left of you to give to your children.

Moms, it’s ok to take time for yourself to go the gym, or go out with your friends or go on a weekly date with your husband. It’s ok if you have to go to work or if you want to go to work or if it’s a combo of both.

When you feel the mommy guilt creeping up, kick it to the curb.